How to Make Prom Dress Shopping a Positive Body Image Experience

TLDR:

Prom dress shopping can be difficult for those struggling with body image, but there are ways to make it better. Shopping with a support person, focusing on how the dress feels on your body, and remembering that you are the magic ingredient for a fun Prom, not the dress.

Prom Dress Shopping with Support

Prom season is upon us again, and with it, of course, comes prom dress shopping. As an eating disorder therapist who works primarily with teen girls, I know that shopping for a formal dress can be stressful, especially when someone is early into their recovery. However, even women and girls who have never had a diagnosable eating disorder might struggle to find a dress they feel confident in. There are many reasons for this, of course, but certainly unrealistic beauty standards, rampant diet culture, and our human tendency to compare ourselves to others can play a role. And let’s not forget the horrible lighting in most dressing rooms. Yuck.

Girls in Prom Dresses and Corsages

Positive Prom Dress Shopping Experience

I thought about all this the other day when I was shopping with my daughter for her prom dress. When we arrived, two other girls were also there with their moms. It was the middle of a weekday, and the store was relatively empty, so the girls had the large 3 panel mirror in the center of the dressing room to themselves. As they tried on their dresses, they would each come out of their rooms to get assistance with zippers and corsets and buttons from us moms. The store had a huge variety of dresses which made it fun and allowed them to try on many different styles.

At first, the girls would shyly glance at themselves in the large mirror and then quickly retreat into their individual changing rooms. But after a while, I noticed them making eye contact with each other in the mirror and smiling. Soon, they began commenting on each other’s dresses, saying things like “that color is so good with your eyes”, or “the yellow is my favorite on you so far”, or “OMG that one is amazing!” I noticed a palpable shift in the energy of the room. Everyone suddenly seemed more at ease, including the moms. 

The compliments the girls bestowed on each other were clearly thoughtful and genuine. What was most interesting was the way it started with one simple positive comment that seemed to catch fire and led to a chain reaction of enthusiasm and support. It was inspiring to see 3 strangers from 3 different schools supporting each other. They didn’t have to know each other to make a meaningful difference.

To be sure, there is negativity among teens on social media, and there is bullying in schools. But there is also positivity, support, and compassion. Living in a society obsessed with thinness can be brutal. However, numerous studies have shown that peers are important influencers, and supportive friendships can increase body image positivity. In turn, positive body image leads to enhanced resiliency and improved mental health and self-care. 

If you or your daughter will soon be shopping for a dress, a new pair of jeans, or maybe even a bathing suit, I hope you consider bringing along a positive friend. Avoid bringing people who make negative comments, even jokingly. And if you see a stranger in the dressing room and you think she looks amazing, I hope you consider telling her. Chances are, you’ll make her day.

More tips for making prom dress shopping a positive experience

1. Start with Self-Love

Before you step into a store, remind yourself that your worth isn't tied to a dress size. Say kind things to yourself and treat your body with compassion.

2. Focus on Fit, Not Size

Clothing sizes vary wildly between brands. The number on the tag means nothing. Choose what is comfortable and fits well—not what size you think you “should” wear. You might also ask a friend or family member to pull a few different sizes for you so you can try them on without even looking at the number on the tag. 

3. Try On a Variety of Styles

If you find yourself looking at a dress and thinking, “I could never pull that off,” try it on anyway. You might be surprised by what makes you feel amazing. 

4. Take Breaks if Needed

If you start to feel overwhelmed or discouraged, it’s okay to pause. Go for a walk, get a snack, or try again another day. High pressured situations can lead to more negative experiences.

5. Shift the Focus to How You Feel

Instead of “Do I look skinny?” ask “Do I feel strong, confident, and comfortable?” or "Will I be able to have fun?" If you feel good in what you are wearing, you will notice a positive difference in your mood.

6. Alter to Empower

If you find something close to perfect, don’t be afraid to get it altered. Tailoring a dress to your body—not the other way around—is a good way to compensate for mass-produced clothing that often doesn't account for individual body shapes and proportions. There's nothing wrong with your body if it doesn't fit the dress perfectly.

7. Avoid Comparison

Prom dress shopping isn’t a competition. Everyone’s beauty shines in different ways. Celebrate yours. When you find yourself comparing to someone else, try sending good intentions instead by saying "May you be well" in your head. You may even want to compliment them out loud!

8. Remember: You Are the Magic, Not the Dress

The dress is just fabric. Have fun, enjoy the music, and make memories. You’ve got this!